Resolutions take 2

I am looking around at my house, thinking of the sickness that has just swept through me, and apparently my home as well, destroying all energy and order to our lives for the last week, and I think it is time to start over again.

New Years Resolutions Take two.

 A mulligan I will tell my husband.

My second chance, and I promise this time will be it.

There is an empty box of cookies in our living room.. yes my husband and I ate them all.. In one day. The counters are covered in dishes, the laundry is piled high, and for some reason I caved last night and let our babe sleep in our bed cuddled up so nicely in my arms all night…someday he will learn and someday I will sleep.  Internally I am still stirring over the judgmental comments I made last week, the eyelashes I pulled out, the birthdays I Forgot and the people I didn’t bother to say hi to because I was too tired. Pretty much looking around I can see EVERY New Years Resolution I made, being thrown out the window.

BUT- THERE IS HOPE! Because anyone that thinks if you aren’t perfect the first month you’re ruined, is denying themselves the very hope that comes from a New Years Resolution. The opportunity to change and improve and mark that change through the years! So here is to starting one more time and to becoming at least a little bit better in 2014!

This year New Years resolutions have meant a lot more to me, It really hit me with the new year. 2012 I had lots of excuses, I was still in school, I was pregnant and tired, I had a baby, moved to a new place.. bla bla bla. But 2013 I stayed in the same place, No baby, Yet Nothing CHANGED! Yet I haven’t lost a pound of weight like I wanted and I still caved to my personal temptations to sneak seconds on dessert, I still pulled out my eyelashes when I was stressed and I still avoided the dishes at all costs, I still watched hours of pointless and mind numbing television shows,I still indulged in the juicy gossip that I know was not uplifting. A WHOLE YEAR PASSED and I was still doing the same things I didn’t want to do. The same things that I don’t want to define me. But if you do them for that long.. don’t they define you?

What about the positive things that I want to define me?

What about being a good listener

Loving the scriptures

Being a dedicated Journal writer

A good attentive Mother

A devoted Wife to my best friend

Having a House that housed the spirit

Having a clean house

Being a positive person

A confident person

How can I be these things if they are not the things I am constantly doing?

My New years Resolutions… do MORE of these things and LESS much less of the things above.

So, I guess I am writing this blog not because I am being hard on myself, but because I want to face the reality that what I do each day will be who I become. I feel like if I write it here.. Embarrassingly enough for the whole world to see, maybe I will be better at owning up to it. Maybe we all can. Maybe we need to take more moments to evaluate exactly where we are in life and where we want to be going, and make sure that every seemingly unimportant day is taking us one day closer to where we want to be.  

Since I am writing this all out.. I guess I will post it, and I will let you know how the improvements go.. month by month, one day at a time.