What will I tell Max on days like yesterday

Today was a long day for some reason.
These are pictures of our family running our first 5k together this weekend in Kirksville! Max was a cham

Marshall and I are running our second half marathon on Saturday- this time we will run together- this time I am not walking and this time we plan to beat my last time by half an hour. However yesterdays events have caused my heart to stir.
How conflicting it feels for such an incredible day for so many people to now be such a scary and heartbreaking event. My normal self would be terrified to run the race now. I will admit my first thought was to be more scared to be away from max for so long!
But in a world that seems to be filled with so many heartbreaking stories like this I have had to re-evaluate my mothering goals ( I can't say skills because I'm not sure I have those yet)
But how- when something like this starts to hit and max can start to understand how will I teach him? What will I say about the sad people that would ever think to do this?

What about the boy in Connecticut or the columbine students- didn't they have mothers that love then- what if my baby was ever the one that hurt people? How can I raise a boy with compassion and love how can I help him control feelings of anger?

What would I ever do if something like this ever included one of us or our precious family members. No one ever thinks it will happen to them! How will I react? Will I truly be able to show Max our faith in the resurrection and heavenly fathers plan? My heart hurts just thinking about the possibility.

Sometimes I feel afraid of not being afraid. I used to tell myself things always happen when you least expect it so if I always expect the worst possible thing then it will never happen. --- so far I guess you could say it worked. But in case you think it sounds like a good idea I will tell you right now it is a miserable way to live your life! Fear and faith are opposites- and I promise they really cannot exist together- so even tho I have felt "protected" in a way by fear. Faith brings peace, and more protection than fear ever could.
I like having faith in a plan- gods plan for us rather than fearing chance and the things. I can't control.

I guess I will tell max every day that I love him. I will show him the stories of the heros- and focus on the helpers on days like yesterday. I will show him the people that kept the faith in the scriptures. I want to tell him everyday that the lords side wins. That even when the world is so scary and the loudest voices seem to be the most corrupt- the soft voice of truth and righteousness will always ring through the shouting. I hope I can teach my baby that.