Long Moments

Max took a nap today right before bed time.. but we still put him down at the same time that we normally do. The sweet boy just wanted to play... and now he is laying in the room next to me so sad. He usually just sort of whines but tonight It feels like I have really broken his little heart and for some reason I just can't stand it! He was so happy and cute why couldn't he just play with us a little longer!
I guess I don't know why I put him to bed when I could have just cuddled him a little more. I know everyone has there own views on sleep training but I still haven't figured out mine. Nights like this it seems less effective because I spend more time paralyzed by his cry to even get anything extra done. and by the time he falls asleep I am so exhausted all I want to do is cry myself to sleep. I don't know why this has effected me so much. It hurts to see someone you love so sad, especially when you know they don't understand - they are so confused. but you know that eventually it will make them so happy to be able to get a good nights sleep and sleep on their own. I suppose this is one of the many reasons people say motherhood brings you closer to God. Because he must feel like this all the time. I am sure he just wants to burst into the room and hold each of us until we feel better. but maybe its like people say, that you can't.. because we wouldn't learn that way.
This is hard.. the hardest part of being a mom so far. Don't judge me if you think that makes me weak sauce. It just breaks my heart in so many ways.