sweet boy is almost 8 months

Doesn't that face just melt your heart. He just keeps changing and i need him to SLOW DOWN! But we enjoy every minute together and i am so thankful to be his mama I never want to forget these perfectly wonderful days. so i wanted to make a quick list... if I were better at remembering things like this i would just do it on each month marker.. but we will call this his 8 Month marker!

• learned to walk forward thanks to a little walker car a friend let us borrow
• learned to move the pillow that we throw on him.. he laughs hysterically when he does it and we say peek a boo!
• when he sees the window blinds each morning you would think it was christmas he gets so excited and would just hold them and touch them all day if he could
• He takes 2 naps a day and usually sleeps from 8 to 8 at night ( with one feeding) 
• His favorite foods are.. sweet potatoes, squash and carrots. and vanilla puffs! He wont eat fruit! (must be related to his dad)
• At his last dr visit he was 19 pounds and 28.5 inches long
• he has 4 top teeth and 2.5 bottom teeth, but i just barely noticed because the boy is just never phased by it..
• oh and he LOVES to brush his teeth.. and is actually pretty decent at it on his own
• He loves to hold our hands and walk around
• he can go from crawling position to sitting up and vice versa but wont crawl...
• He smiles all the time.. even when he is stealing other babies toys
• He waves to some people... you have to be really special apparently.. 
• he still never looks at whoever is holding him.. just whoever is across from him.. maybe his is farsighted? 
• He loves his dad- really tho he is happy all day but when Marshall comes home.. he NEVER stops smiling. He is the sweetest boy

Consider this a wave.. from max, because your that special!

What will I tell Max on days like yesterday

Today was a long day for some reason.
These are pictures of our family running our first 5k together this weekend in Kirksville! Max was a cham

Marshall and I are running our second half marathon on Saturday- this time we will run together- this time I am not walking and this time we plan to beat my last time by half an hour. However yesterdays events have caused my heart to stir.
How conflicting it feels for such an incredible day for so many people to now be such a scary and heartbreaking event. My normal self would be terrified to run the race now. I will admit my first thought was to be more scared to be away from max for so long!
But in a world that seems to be filled with so many heartbreaking stories like this I have had to re-evaluate my mothering goals ( I can't say skills because I'm not sure I have those yet)
But how- when something like this starts to hit and max can start to understand how will I teach him? What will I say about the sad people that would ever think to do this?

What about the boy in Connecticut or the columbine students- didn't they have mothers that love then- what if my baby was ever the one that hurt people? How can I raise a boy with compassion and love how can I help him control feelings of anger?

What would I ever do if something like this ever included one of us or our precious family members. No one ever thinks it will happen to them! How will I react? Will I truly be able to show Max our faith in the resurrection and heavenly fathers plan? My heart hurts just thinking about the possibility.

Sometimes I feel afraid of not being afraid. I used to tell myself things always happen when you least expect it so if I always expect the worst possible thing then it will never happen. --- so far I guess you could say it worked. But in case you think it sounds like a good idea I will tell you right now it is a miserable way to live your life! Fear and faith are opposites- and I promise they really cannot exist together- so even tho I have felt "protected" in a way by fear. Faith brings peace, and more protection than fear ever could.
I like having faith in a plan- gods plan for us rather than fearing chance and the things. I can't control.

I guess I will tell max every day that I love him. I will show him the stories of the heros- and focus on the helpers on days like yesterday. I will show him the people that kept the faith in the scriptures. I want to tell him everyday that the lords side wins. That even when the world is so scary and the loudest voices seem to be the most corrupt- the soft voice of truth and righteousness will always ring through the shouting. I hope I can teach my baby that.

Long Moments

Max took a nap today right before bed time.. but we still put him down at the same time that we normally do. The sweet boy just wanted to play... and now he is laying in the room next to me so sad. He usually just sort of whines but tonight It feels like I have really broken his little heart and for some reason I just can't stand it! He was so happy and cute why couldn't he just play with us a little longer!
I guess I don't know why I put him to bed when I could have just cuddled him a little more. I know everyone has there own views on sleep training but I still haven't figured out mine. Nights like this it seems less effective because I spend more time paralyzed by his cry to even get anything extra done. and by the time he falls asleep I am so exhausted all I want to do is cry myself to sleep. I don't know why this has effected me so much. It hurts to see someone you love so sad, especially when you know they don't understand - they are so confused. but you know that eventually it will make them so happy to be able to get a good nights sleep and sleep on their own. I suppose this is one of the many reasons people say motherhood brings you closer to God. Because he must feel like this all the time. I am sure he just wants to burst into the room and hold each of us until we feel better. but maybe its like people say, that you can't.. because we wouldn't learn that way.
This is hard.. the hardest part of being a mom so far. Don't judge me if you think that makes me weak sauce. It just breaks my heart in so many ways.

7 months!

How 4 months became 7 I don't even know- but his clothes are all still the same size! I just wanted to share a few of my favorite things about this precious little seven month old.

- he is learning to sleep on his own.
- no crawling but he can scoot backwards
- eats puffs on his own ( and as fast as he can with his little pinching skills)
- will finally eat baby food but only sweet potatoes and only if he is entertained by his excer-saucer ( on loan from his sweet friend Carter man)
-he loves to touch the letters above his bed that spell his name- we actually have to do it anytime we enter or leave his bedroom
-favorite part of the bedtime routine is reading 'if you weren't my little boy' and pressing the light-up heart over and over again with daddy singing
-sleeps on his tummy now the best
-pulls himself up on his hands and knees for a second..
-stands with his walker toy
-loves riding the cars at exercise group,

 touching signs ( especially ones with letters or lights on them)

 ( here is the bed time routine) I just can't get enough of how cute these two are together.. its my favorite moment each day!

 he loooooves playing with his girlfriend Oakley - even laughs with she tackles him!
That's true love right there!

 he loves his adult friends.. and still thinks books are for eating...

 - finally this boy makes the funniest faces and will do anything to chew on any kind of cord.. thank goodness for the medical school handing out free one-time-use-stethescopes for him to gnaw at!

Happy seven months little man! You make every moment even better! I feel so grateful everyday to be you mom!

Friends Not fools

 Pardon the iphone pictures but don't those tacos look delicious! they were! but the jokes on you they aren't tacos, they are actually my April Fools Day fix. Its Crepes- chocolate ice cream with Oreo in it ( too look like meat and beans get it!) with roasted coconut died green and strawberries on top! mmmm taco Tuesday has seen the light! they were delicious! and what is better than Tacos with double the sweetness? Sweet friends to share them with! Marsh took a little break from studying to have a game night with these to beautiful people. They are our real life back door neighbors and the best to play some late night cards with. I can't believe so many of our new friends will be leaving so soon! We will miss them!
And that's how we like to spend our April fools day- with friends not fools :)

Easter Baby

 This year was our first Easter with Max but also it was our first Easter not with family! We have been so busy lately that we didn't exactly have time to think about Easter very much until this weekend but we really started to miss family easter egg hunts and little kids and just the spirit of Easter. For our  own little family to celebrate  I put all the things my mom sent us for Max in a basket- and bought marshall a reeses bunny and we called it good. We filled eggs with the little puffs that maxs loves and i hid the eggs in the middle of the night. In the morning Marsh carried max around  the house to help him find each egg and he loved hitting them together and eating the outsides. and like a typical baby- his favorite things on easter were the tags on his new clothes and the easter basket :)

Last night for Easter we got together with a group of friends for possibly the most delicious meal i have eaten all year. everything is incredible! Max loved watching all the kids run around and we loved visiting with friends and eating good food! We had a egg hunt- max found some more eggs but didn't really care. I feel like holidays right now are more for me- and because they are his first- the will get more fun later when he knows whats going on.

 eating outside in the - almost- wam weather! but it was beautiful! And everyone hunting for eggs!

 The boys sat around talking about sports of course! and the easter cake pops chels and I made for all the little kids!

 We missed family, but were grateful for good friends and we had a great Easter feeling thankful for our Savior's atonement, spring and the symbols of new beginnings.